So Long, Not Goodnight

Okay. So people may not understand the emotion that's about to go into this post. I don't even understand it myself...

When I was 15, I was in a dark place. I was so influenced by people and what they thought of me, I had little time to think about who I really was. I was in a full time, long distance relationship. I had no idea what my future held. No skills, no talents and no chance.

Then I heard a song. This song was called "Disenchanted", and it was by a band called My Chemical Romance. I had all their albums, but had never really listened. One day I had them on shuffle and this song came on. It was the most beautiful, haunting song. And it spoke to me. I saw myself in a true light... As the sadistic emo child I was, so scared to discover myself.

I listened more.

I learned more about myself.

Until one day it hit me. I didn't need to pretend. I was finally my own person and I could start to heal and grow as a person.

My Chemical Romance became my backbone there and then. They helped me through the toughest emotional times ... Always there singing softly in my ear and telling me it would be alright.

I grew up and they grew with me.

I saw them live for the first time in 2011. It was the best night of my life. I laughed, I cried and I sang my heart out. I was at peace with myself as a person.

I wrote a fanfiction... "Keep Running" ... A Killjoy story I later had published. They inspired me.

Then on 23rd March 2013, it ended. They broke up and part of my broke with them. I lost my spine and started spiralling back into my old mindset.

Then I stopped myself. I thought. They hadn't got me through. I had got myself through, they had merely guided me.

And they always will.. Their music will never leave me for as long as I live.

Summertime will still be my first wedding dance.
Helena will still be the song playing as I am buried.

When I listen to them in years to come, and my son or daughter approaches me and asks me why I'm crying, I will tell them that what they are listening to is the life force of so many people in my generation. I will show my son or daughter my black parade jacket, my lyrics board, my ticket and I will tell them "these are almost as valuable as you." I will tell them to never let the world take them alive. One day their life will flash in front of their eyes... To make sure their life is worth watching. To always get excited about a hamster ball, and to be proud of who they are. My children and grandchildren will know of the wonderful miracle that was My Chemical Romance.

When Pandora opened her box and let all the bad into the world, she held into hope. That is was My Chemical Romance did for me. They are my hope.

Whether you are a Demolition Lover, you live in the Hotel Bella Muerte, the Black Parade or Battery City - I feel you.

The MCRmy will live on forever.

So long, not goodnight.
Neon Scarecrow signing off.

"The Day I Met You Was The Happiest Day Of My Life..."

For Charli, my sister from another mister <3